..::TI & Tiny... Official?::..

TI and Tiny are FINALLY officially married as of this past Friday at a courthouse in Miami. Wow, it has been a long time coming. I think we all knew he would never leave her, but I must admit… I was doubtful that he’d actually put an “official” ring on it either. Well good for them. Tiny is the misses, "ain’t even got to do the dishes, got two dish washers (courtesy of Hov). LOL.

Question for my LADYbugs: If you were in Tiny’s position, would you have stuck it out? Ultimately she got the guy, but at what price? Although I am happy with the outcome, I cry for the journey. Simply put, don’t settle. Tiny is an exception, but would you have been so lucky in this situation?!

..::13 Good Lessons We’ve Learned From Bad Exes::..

article from TheFrisky.com

Most of us have an awful ex (or maybe a few) that we’d never be friends with. In fact, we may even wish we’d never crossed paths with them ... except for that invaluable lesson we took away from the relationship. I finally figured out that alcoholics make bad boyfriends. Duh. It’s so simple you’d think it wouldn’t have taken me two, OK, three times to get it. Learning tough life lessons from a bad relationship brings meaning to our suffering. Well ... kind of. After the jump, good wisdom that Frisky staffers have learned from bad exes.

1. “That thing that looks like a hickey on his neck is, in fact, a hickey.”
2. “If he won’t use a condom, dump him. At least at first, condom use is non-negotiable until you’ve established a monogamous relationship.”
3. “If he criticizes your clothes, run like hell. If he’s already trying to chip away at your self-esteem by controlling your wardrobe, imagine what a freak he’ll be when he gets tired of telling you that ‘you have too many prints.’”
4. “He’s not going to leave his girlfriend for you.”
5. “If you’re in a relationship, you’re both healthy and you don’t even have kids, something’s wrong if you haven’t had sex in more than two weeks.”
6. “If he disrespects his mother for no good reason, then he probably doesn’t know how to respect any woman.”
7. “If he comes on incredibly strong right from jump, there’s probably something wrong with him. Or he has a wife at home.”
8. “If he says he really thinks you’ll get along with his new female assistant at work, be very suspicious of her — and him.”
9. “If he ever says, ‘This is the way I am. I’m not ever going to change,’ don’t try and change him, but don’t stick around with him either because ‘I told you this was how I am’ will be his excuse to treat you like crap going forward.”
10. “If he ‘accidentally falls asleep on the couch’ almost every night for a week, he is probably about to dump you.”
11. “If you’re being compared to his ex—unless you’re cool with being a rebound—get out.”
12. “It is never, under any circumstances, OK for him to hit you. Yes, even if you were acting like a jerk. Leave right away because he will do it again. And again. And again.”
13. "He will only do what you allow him to do."

..::The Overnight Bag::..

I totally believe that there are certain things that a single woman should have with her at all times. After all, you are S-I-N-G-L-E, meaning no check in times, no one to answer to, no nagging, nada… you’re free. With that being said, ladies, I present… (drum roll please) The Overnight Bag.

So what is The Overnight Bag? Let explain it to you. If you are like me, you may be a bit adventurous. At any given time you may pick up and go. On the other hand, I know some of us are structured and a bit more routine. Either way, the overnight bag is essential, a survival kit. Here’s why: Have you ever gone out with a group of friends and at the last min decided that spending the night would be much more convenient than driving all the way back to your place? Of course you have; hence, you’re going to need some things in the AM. Reason 2: Have you been on a date with someone you know (not a stranger… PLEASE girls) and decided to stay over, but “oh snap, I don’t have any eye liner, my toothbrush, hair moisturizer. Dang!” In your mind you’re thinking, “I’m going to look a hot mess in the morning,” and so you go home. Ladies, let’s avoid this! You are single! Have. An. Overnight. Bag.

Now that we have established why it is important, let me tell you what you should have IN your overnight bag. For starters, you should (at minimum) have the basics; a change of under garments, a toothbrush and some flat shoes. No one wants to take the walk of shame, aka “the hoe walk,” the next morning. If you want your overnight bag to be complete, add a change of clothes; something cute, but relaxed. Put your basic makeup in the bag, your eyeliner, blush, whatever it is that takes you from “Blah, to Ah!” Keep the bag in your trunk, I mean, what’s the point of having it if it is sitting in the corner of your bedroom. Last but not least, don’t be afraid to use it. This bag does not signify that you’re a loose woman, but that you are prepared, organized, and on top of your game. Ladies, no need to thank me now, but I’m confident that you will thank me later!

..::Christina Milian minus The Dream::..

For those of you that have not heard, the split between Christina Milian and The Dream has been confirmed. It seems like only yesterday they were dating. When love goes bad, what do you do? In the case of Christina and The Dream, they have a baby so I hope that everything remains peaceful for the child’s sake, but I must say, I was not a huge believer in this union from Day 1. Just my insight and observations, but hey! I wish both of them the best.

It seems that nowadays that maintaining a healthy and happy relationship is harder than hitching a ride to the moon, I’m just saying. Imagine the separation of everyday people; now put yourself under a microscope like Christina and The Dream, it is inevitability hard.

I’ll take the opportunity to elaborate on this topic in a future posting, ..::When Love Goes Bad::.. Stay Tuned.

..::First Alicia Keys, now Beyonce?::..

Rumors run wild when it comes to A-listers like Alicia Keys and Beyonce; and as we all know, Ms. Keys is expecting a Bundle of Swizz, but what about Mrs. Carter? We are all on edge waiting for that inkling of hope that Hov himself will be not only be B’s "daddy" (naughty naughty), but a papa bear himself. I think we’ll be hearing something soon… just a gut feeling. Hold on fans, I’m on this like white on rice. Stay tuned!

..::Lonely?::..

Truth be told, it is one of those nights… lonely. How about you? Has life been kind? Do you have a love life, or how about love IN your life? There is quite a difference; one keeps you warm at night, while the other helps you to remain whole. I’m whole, but feeling a little chilly over the last few evenings. A reality check I suppose. What do we do about it though? Do you look or are you found? Me personally, I want to be captured. I’d like to imagine I’m Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Right, well he is Mr. Big… a past love or even the man who was always there, but never occurred to me. Can a fictional love story be my actuality?

I guess I wonder when I went from not caring about having someone, to imagining myself wrapped up in bliss. Could it be my surroundings? Come to think about it, I absolutely adore Alicia Keys and we all know about her romance. Not to mention the passionate love I see between the unlikely Seal and Heidi Klum. And my friends, well they are either in a committed relationship or wanting it more than I can even fathom. So is it an illusion, a fulfillment that seems right due to circumstances or do I genuinely want my Big?

Since the answer is not apparent I will continue to do as I have done… nothing. I believe that all things happen when the time is right. I will continue to move forward day to day. I suggest you, yes YOU, do the same. He is coming for you, but you must “do you,” and be happy with you in order for him to see you in your true essence. That is true beauty and it resonates with real men.

They say the truest life is dreams awake. Well, I’m dreaming with eyes wide shut!

..::Open Your Mouth::..

I’ve come to realize that a closed mouth doesn’t get fed, so to speak. That’s true in most every aspect of life, be it business, love, or a friendship (but of course I’m referring to the love life). People are not mind readers, nor are we meant to be. Bottom line; if you want something, ask. If you do not like something, tell. If you love something, speak (whispers preferred.. lol). Seriously, I think that the issues most of us have nowadays, is that we get into situations so fast, but do not think about the consequences or the end results. TRUST ME, if you did, you would save yourself a lot of time and heartache.

You know it is always required of me that I play devil’s advocate, so here it is. Yes… even “I” have fell into that stigma of being “wrapped up in the moment.” But, it isn’t always a bad thing to go for what you feel in that moment because there are rare occurrences where things, people, and feelings are mutually understood without verbal confirmations being necessary. However, in my experience, even when you feel that those vibes are on point, there’s still the chance that you are on one level while he maybe on another. The result… devastation.

The time that it takes to sit down and have a light-hearted, but thorough, conversation is far more valuable than leaving loose ends and unanswered questions. While you’re thinking that you’re about to be the wife, he’s thinking you’re merely company for that night (it’s true)! Just remember that what you want at the moment; be it sex, material things, simple companionship… whatever… is less obtainable if the overall vision is blurred. So be patient, be particular, and in Lehman’s terms, Open Your Mouth!